OK, I’m aware it’s been awhile. Summer is a wonderful and awful thing for me. I love summer – the way plants and grass smell in the evening after soaking up the sun all day, backpacking to alpine lakes, calling up friends for last-minute backyard BBQs, digging my hands in the garden’s soil, and the inordinate amounts of socializing we do with family and friends that we lost track of during the winter months. But what it means is that I don’t really read, knit, or blog much. Which frustrates me because there’s so much going on, and so much to say! Truthfully, I gave up many years ago and realized that summer and fall is my time to do, and winter and spring are my time to think about and reflect on it all.
The short version is that we were on vacation for the first half of July. Mr. A, the stinky Towhead, and I flew down to Orange county to visit family and attend a wedding. In the process we also got to play at the beach, visit with college friends and their families, and Towhead got to go to Disneyland for the first time.
Every year Mr. A’s parents throws a huge 4th of July celebration – an average of 40 people show up every year and it has become an unofficial extended family reunion of sorts. The last few years someone has brought a BBQ/smoker, the kind that’s 8-10 feet long and has to be pulled on it’s own trailer. The meat that comes out of that thing is heavenly. If that and the pool are not enough, the other major draw is that their house backs up to a baseball field that adjoins the Seal Beach Naval Weapons Station – and those navy guys know how to put on a hell of a fireworks show! The entire neighborhood shows up to spread out blankets and chairs. Kids run around waving glow sticks (no more sparklers – party-poopers. What’s 4th of July without someone getting burnt fingers from a sparkler they couldn’t bear to part with?) and grandparents cuddle under blankets to watch the colorful lights explode overhead.
Well, that party got canceled this year for the sake of a wedding. Even though it was a different setting, it was still wonderful to see family and friends. The reception was at the Hotel Maya within sight of the Queen Mary and overlooking Long Beach harbor. It was a lovely day in a gorgeous setting. The wedding was beautiful and very thoughtfully put together – I cannot fault them for that. That said, it is hard to get enthusiastic about a wedding when you don’t even remotely agree with the couple’s vows or their view of what marriage means. Marriage is a partnership – two whole individuals that decide to support and enhance one another through life’s changes. One person often takes the lead in certain situations, but it is understandable – I would say expected – that the lead role can and does change regularly. Marriage is a collaborative, fluid, dynamic process – a symbiotic relationship that creates something bigger than the sum of its parts. I will never understand individuals who glorify subservience in a marriage, and elevate the status of one person (in this case the man) over the other. I remember hearing the word “worship” – and I agree only in the sense that every person is worthy of worship and reverence as a fantastic piece of the biological puzzle. However, on oh so many levels I have issues with a partnership based on the male half (either half really) being lauded as a Christ-like figure that inspires and guides the other in a savior/devotee relationship. Even the benevolent verion of these roles makes me cringe. I firmly believe that although religion can be a part of any marriage, marriage itself has nothing to do with religion. That’s the optional part of the ceremony as far as I’m concerned.
Every feminist bone in my body was boiling in outrage – so I boiled, and took it as a good exercise in self-control.
But I also realized mid-ceremony that I am not required to agree with their vows or view of marriage, because I was not the one getting married. This ceremony needed to be meaningful for them, and I have no doubt that it was, which is wonderful. In spite of it all I am proud of Mr. A’s cousin, who I’ve watched grow from a gangly 10-year old to a confident, polite man with a positive and respectful attitude toward his new wife. I may not agree with him but I still love him dearly. We may have missed dancing at their wedding, but we did arrive back at my in-laws in time to spread out a blanket and curl up with the kids to see the firework display illuminate the neighborhood.
After a week in southern California, Mr. A and the Towhead flew up to Sacramento to visit the other half of the grandparents. (We figured they were already in California, we might as well make the most of the trip. However, I had to fly back home for work, which sucked. I miss my family.) They had a blast! I know only what I heard over the phone and saw from pictures, but the stories and one-liners that emerged from their five-day trip are hilarious! Most of it consisted of the chaos of ordinary life and tasks – like shopping, doing crafts and playing ball. But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t hear the laughter across several states. The most quotable moment though involves Towhead’s recurring obsession with playing doctor. When examining her “old Nana” (great-grandma) she told her that, “her brain wasn’t working.” I love where we live but boy, do I miss family! Vacations like these are what summer is all about. Summer always reminds me to live, and not take the world too seriously. That is when we’re not busy laughing and playing, and I have a moment to think about it all. 🙂
Duck Duck Moose 