Preface: I should not complain about being active, doing things we love outdoors, seeing family, or filling our life with wonderful things I have longed to do for years now.
That said, I am SO glad the time has come when all those things are slowing down and/or coming to a close. I am feeling pulled in so many directions I can’t decide where to go first. Autumn and the holidays will still be busy, but hunting season is almost over, and I’m done teaching self-defense classes for now.
I love the adventures we often have as a family, but I’m noticing that my wee Crazy Towhead is a little strung out and more sensitive lately. This always weirds me out. She is such a good, easy-going, up-for-anything-we-throw-at-her kind of kid that she’s become my barometer for how we’re doing. If she’s “off” – not sleeping well, cranky, overly teary – then there’s usually some part of our lives that needs adjusting. And right now that barometric pressure is dropping. She’s my same happy laughing girl, but certain things are telling me that we’ve had too much for too long.
So, in small moments we’re learning to re-set the pace. There is a concept/practice in Aikido that allows the person being attacked, the nage ( pronounced nah-gay), to take a fast incoming attack and diffuse that speed during the technique or throw so that they are the one who sets the pace, not the attacker. The attacker, or uke (pronounced ooo-kay) can come in as fast as they want to, and although the initial reaction must match the speed of the incoming attack, once contact is made the nage can blend and slow things down to a pace that they are comfortable with. I keep thinking of this in terms of life events: No matter what the world throws at us, we are the ones who ultimately decide where and how that momentum is directed in our lives. It also helps me remember that I am not subject to the external stresses of life – the worls can throw what it wants at me, but I am the one who ultimately decides how it affects me.
But with autumn in the air and colder temps setting in I am all about sitting on the couch in front of a fire, knitting, and listening to some good music. I’m even thinking of taking up audio books. I’ve never been an audio books fan. I’d rather have music on long drives, and playing them at home always seemed silly. Me? Sit still that long? Who are we kidding here? But now that CT is so much more self-sufficient and I can knit for more than 30 seconds at a time (instead of waiting until after she’s asleep) suddenly audio books are sounding like a nice alternative to evening TV. I don’t suppose any of you out there have any good suggestions?
In general I feel blessed and loved, content and grateful. I love this time of year.
Did I mention that down the street there are the most amazing combination of changing leaves? A bright red maple across the street from an orange one and a brilliant yellow one sitting side-by-side, each bordered by evergreens. There’s also a wonderful tree around here, the larch (or tamrack). It’s a deciduous evergreen, and although it’s not quite as stunning as the huge aspen groves in the Sierras it made for a beautiful sight as we were out cutting wood this weekend.
